What Did You Learn From This?

I have a good friend who, whenever something doesn't go as expected, asks, "What did you learn from this?"

For example, years ago I received a job offer that was too good to refuse. I was going to manage the art collection of a prominent lobbyist who has a serious contemporary art collection. In addition, I was going to get to travel with him for the Venice Biennale and manage his homes in D.C., Australia, and Italy. At least that's how it was billed when he offered it. I gave notice to my other job and was about to embark on my new adventure.

Never mind that for two weeks I couldn't sleep from worrying about it. Never mind that people who knew Mr. Lobbyist warned me repeatedly about his infamous temper and begged me to reconsider his offer. Never mind that my anxiety level was off the charts -- even for me. I chalked it up to my usual fear of change, not to my intuition all but screaming for me to run in the opposite direction. It was an amazing opportunity, I told myself.

On my next to the last day at my other job, I received the job description for the new position. On it were several things that Mr. Lobbyist had never discussed, a lot of which included handling various financial things that I shouldn't have had any business handling. Lucky for me, my employers were elated when I asked if I could stay. My boss at the time, who had once practiced law, went so far as to tell me that if necessary, I could tell Mr. Lobbyist that my attorney had advised I not take the job. The job that had been too good to refuse was instead a job that was too good to be true.

When I told my good friend about it, she asked that question of hers: What did you learn from this?

My answer included a few expletives, none of which I'll share here. She calmly said, "No. What you learned is that when someone offers you a job, get the job description in writing before you accept it."

I recount this long story for a reason. I've not received the check from my "friend." Despite his insistence that he's paying me back (just today I received a note from him saying that he loves me and is going to make it all "alright"), I'll be surprised if I ever see so much as one red cent.

So, Veronica, what did you learn from this?

Never lend a friend money. If you can't spare it, don't lend it. And if the friend gets upset because you can't do it, well, that person wasn't a friend to begin with.

The fact is that my intuition was screaming NO when he asked for the loan. I should've listened. I didn't, and now I'm out of almost 200 bucks. Worse, I've lost the trust I had in someone I thought would be a dear friend.

This lesson has been expensive in many ways.

In other, happier news, the new iPod Nanos were announced today. I so totally know what I'm getting myself for Christmas. :-)