Discretion

I've been so excited about achieving my recent goal of getting the debt under 10 grand that I've shared the news with those friends who know I've been working on my debt.

I've made the decision to stop that. It's not that I don't believe my achievement should be celebrated, but I do believe that I should be more thoughtful of others' feelings. It occurred to me that perhaps my progress with my finances could be making them anxious about their (lack of) progress with theirs. Worse -- celebrating my achievement could be misread as bragging. Sometimes it's hard for others to support others in such situations. And in some cases, it can prompt them to try to sabotage you, whether consciously or subconsciously. They'll say things like, "But you only live once!" or "It's OK if you're not completely debt free by your goal date. Even if you still owe a $1,000." They believe they mean well, but in the end, what they're saying doesn't fully support your goal.

I say this because I experienced that negative energy myself when one of my good friend's started working on his debt a few years ago. I love this person very much, but sometimes his "sharing" of good news has felt more like bragging. For example, he'd ask me, "What do you owe now?" I'd tell him, believing I'd been doing a decent job on getting things on track. Only after hearing my answer would he'd giddily inform me that his balance was lower. It was like he asked only so he could brag about how much better he was doing. (He'd do the same thing about his salary, which was -- and is -- always more.)

It was very annoying. (And frankly it was unfair: His new car came courtesy his employers, he was in a two-income household, and his parents gave him $10,000 from an inheritance. Meanwhile, I've been handling everything on my own.) I don't want my friends to feel this kind of annoyance with me. Nor do I want them to think, "I wish she'd shut up about her debt already!"

My debt discussions should be reserved for here. Of course, if someone asks, I'll answer. But even then I'll keep my answers vague and to a minimum. "Things are coming along OK," for example. Or even, "I'm getting there. Thanks for asking."

Now to celebrate: I realized this afternoon that after my next credit card payment, I'll be below $9,000. I'm stoked! :-) From $21,000+ to $9,000. I've come a long way, baby!