Thursday, April 2, 2009

My Latest Obsession

I want to think of myself as a crafter. I knit a little, I sew a little. I have these grand ideas of making beautiful things to decorate my home with, give as gifts, maybe even sell someday, when my skills are better. Problem is, I'm intimidated easily and often have a hard time working up the courage to conquer my fear of royally screwing up.

But that doesn't stop me from buying supplies.

My latest obsession is beautiful fabric. I have a small trunk full of it. Some pieces are remnants, but much of it is not. In fact, a significant amount is the result of my seeing fabric in the store, gasping at how pretty it is, imagining all the things I could do with it, and buying a few yards -- you know, just in case I decide to do something grand and will need more than a tiny piece. Better get a couple yards, I tell myself.

Why am I mentioning all this? Well, because in the last seven days, I've spent almost 100 bucks on fabric. It's all gorgeous, of course, but ... I haven't a clue what I'm going to do with it. So far, all I've managed to do is spread it out on the floor and stroke it, marveling at the colors of all the different designs.

100 bucks. On fabric. Fabric that I don't know I'm going to do with.

And I charged it, too.

Which brings me to this: I'm ahead of my debt payment schedule. Well, I was until I went on this fabric bender. That's how I justified my purchase. Even with this charge, I said, I'm still a little ahead.

But then last night I started feeling like a fraud. I mean, everything I've done the last 16 months has been done to get out of debt. What the heck am I doing charging $100 on fabric? So last night, I did the hard thing -- but the right thing: I transferred money from savings and set up a credit card payment. And next week, after I get paid, I'm going to reimburse my savings for the amount.

I mean, if I wouldn't be willing to pay cash for it, there's no reason to buy it, right?

1 comment:

Maria said...

"I mean, if I wouldn't be willing to pay cash for it, there's no reason to buy it, right?"

That is an excellent point and one that is very hard to conquer especially when you've been used to using credit. I have that mentality still and am working on finding ways of breaking it but it's an uphill battle.

Perhaps you've been depriving yourself too much of the things that make you happy and or bring beauty to your life. I know that you've been working hard to get out of debt but you have to live too and that means enjoying yourself sometimes. Do you have "fun money" in your budget? If you gave yourself $20 per month to blow on whatever you wanted, no questions asked, you would feel lighter. Yes, it's $20 that can go towards debt reduction but it is the cost of your sanity! :)

Life is short, I feel it's important to find a balance. Plus there's always "when you are out of debt to think of"- what habits are you gaining, etc...? Because, afterall, we cannot take it with us.

Perhaps you could make a quilt out of it?