Down the Slippery Slope

I bought another pair of jeans today. Yes, they fit, but still. The fact of the matter is that I bought another pair of jeans. With money I don't technically have. Not good. Sh*t.

But They Fit

Yesterday I went on a quest for jeans. I'm a hard fit when it comes to pants, much less jeans, so shopping for jeans is especially stressful. There appears to be some conspiracy among jeans designers to make jeans only for women who are built like adolescent boys.

But off I went on my quest, and I found a pair. For $100. One hundred bucks for jeans ... and that was at a discount! What the hell?! But they fit, and, equally important, they make my butt look good, so I bought them. Actually, I charged them.

Yeah, yeah, I know. This goes against paying down my debt, but I've been so good lately that I felt I was due a reward. I'll try to do better next month.

The $1.77 Weekend

I went home this weekend to visit my parents. One of the few activities my mother and I enjoy together is shopping. But I'm in the midst of a shopping challenge -- my friend and I agreed we'd make only one purchase this month, and I didn't want to pick my one thing while I was visiting the 'rents. So no shopping for me. It never even came up, thankfully. Anyway, the one and only purchase was the box of tissues I bought to rescue me from my allergies. With tax, it came to $1.77.

Not bad for four days. Woohoo!

But It's Not All Doom and Gloom

I was so busy giving the monster a face that I neglected to share the good stuff. For one, I have savings. I have five savings accounts -- and that isn't counting my 401(k). I could consolidate them into one account, I suppose, but I have each one for a reason, and I don't really trust myself to have them all in one easily accessible place. And no, in case you're wondering, the amount of my savings does not cover my debt. I don't plan to decrease my savings deposits. Yes, I have debt, but it's important to me that I create a cushion so that if I do need money for something, I won't resort to using a credit card.

The other good thing is that I have a freelance gig. I'm not going to be able to buy a penthouse in NYC from the earnings, but it's a decent amount of extra income and it'll help me in my goal to pay off the car early and to build that cushion.

So, it's not all doom and gloom.

Giving the Monster a Face

To conquer the beast, I figured it would be best to face it head on. I've found comfort in not knowing the full amount of my debt. I figured that as long as it didn't have a structure, it wouldn't be real. Denial is like an old shoe -- soft and comfortable. I wear it often.

But the time for that is gone. It's time to get real and to kick my debt in its ass. So, here we go:

The Car: $1,160.60
The Little Beast: $2,754.67
The Big Beast: $17,236.87
Grand Total: $21,152.14

It embarrasses me that that last one -- the big beast -- is not a typo. What in the world did I buy? Granted, this amount is the result of years of buying. Still...

The funny thing is that I don't even like shopping. It overwhelms me. But when I'm bored or lonely or sad, I spend. Some people drink. Some people do drugs. Some gamble. I spend.

But it ends here. We're on the fast track to paying off the car. The last payment is supposed to be December of this year, but after a few extra payments, it's been moved up to September. My original goal was to have it paid off by June, but given that June is only a two months away, that won't happen unless I get some unexpected windfall.

After that, we'll face the little beast. And then? Well, I think it's obvious what happens after that.

It can get done. It will get done. Baby steps.